A Nobody's Voice

post of the month

2009-03-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

This was to be the year of health. Two and a half month into the year and health is something that seems to be the question mark.
That's the first fire-fight. Rest comes afterwards.
Mental orientation is what's required.

Rural Markets

2009-02-17T03:03:00.000-08:00

Feedback on RMAI Presentation on ‘Impact of Economic Slowdown on Rural Markets of India’ held at 16th Feb 2009 at Mumbai– by Puneet Srivastava

1. Something that’s running at 20% of its potential has enough latency to generate from within to worry about the outside world.
2. I feel, we want the cream, without going through the ‘churning process’ very much essential to have that cream. All what we (as corporate) do is oscillate between our ‘top-line’ and ‘bottom-line’ theories, at our convenience. So, if action’s dull at Uncle Sam’s end or for that matter on the Dalal Street, my mantra suddenly becomes – ‘Go Rural’. Or may be the big-boss wanted a change of air! Otherwise to us a rural is still what Manoj Kumar showed in his movies to earn that fame of being called ‘Bharat Kumar’, four decades ago.
3. Barring a FMCG company, TV as industry and Telecom sector which hit the unexpected fortune, quite unknowingly, whatever has been done in the so-called ‘rural’, with all the so-called penetration and depth of reach, can at best qualify as either a Pilot or a CSR or a POC (proof-of-concept); a bit here and a bit there and that’s it. But that’s not because the market’s not there. Actually it’s contrary.
4. In my little experience, if say something has happened to the extent of 100%, then my contribution as a marketer to that success would be no more than 35%. For the rest, it somehow happened and I simply happened to be there. It was my customer and my market, which decided the direction, where the business went. I was more of a mute spectator, put simply a mere facilitator.
5. To summarize: I feel, we need to ask just one question – The giant is alive and growing on its own. Are ‘we’ really ready to feed its appetite? The problem is not with ‘them’. The problem is with ‘us’. We might not have realised, but, something’s rising quietly in our neighbourhood and this time it’s not waiting for us to see them through. It’s all set to claim its share from the pie of cake and in most likelihood bake its own cake.

Thank you

2009 - The year of Health

2009-01-09T02:43:00.000-08:00

We have decided to celebrate 2009 as the year of health.
So no mad-rush-chase. Instead relax. Take a deep breath and enjoy.
Let the world be where it is.
Let the crowd go where it wants to go.
Only I need to be cool.

No updates in December

2008-12-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

No updates in decemeber! What difference does it make. A nobody's voice is for nobody.

Change

2008-11-30T22:17:00.000-08:00

What is going to change after the terrorist-attacks in Mumbai?

1. India's reputation as a safe-destination for business & tourism
2. 'A section' of Indian population getting angrier with politicians for their persistent inaction and mishandling of issues of national interest
3. 'A section' of Indian population feeling unsafe in their own country

what else...????

Nothing this 'nobody', can think or see coming as of now!

But think of it, if each of us were to give atleast one choice on 'WHAT SHOULD CHANGE'?

'A nobody accepting things, helplessly... lying down!'

An afternoon after the terrorist attacks.

2008-11-27T00:46:00.000-08:00

An afternoon after the terrorist attacks.
Malls closed. Employees playing cricket on road.
2.00 PM, Vashi, Railway Station, Navi Mumbai.

Terrorism

2008-11-26T20:29:00.000-08:00

I thought terrorism was out of fashion!

There had been no major incidence for almost two weeks. Thus all we had to do during this time was to manage that stupid economic slow-down. We cut jobs, mostly of lower-level scantly paid executives; implemented cost-cuts, once again over smaller mundane petty expenses.

Lucikly, the terrorism is back. Bombay rocked with multiple blasts. Terrorists taking people hostage and gun fires still being exchanged as these words are written. I am sure, with this now in forefront, 'economic-crisis-managers' would be able to enjoy a little breather. The stock exchange too has been closed. So guys, its holiday time.

Unfortunately, one set of guys who would continue to have a busy time would be the Media. Poor fellows!

To the friends in media... we would certainly not mind if you don't flash live images of shattered bodies, ozzing blood, injured people and hurt pride. A delayed telecast with an edited version would also be welcome.... may be even more.

Ever wonder what about politicians... well, hope they continue to stay busy for the better future of 'their' people!

Writer's dilemma

2008-11-24T03:48:00.000-08:00

A writer must write!
Even in times
when he doesn't want to
A writer must write
Not if anything
Then the
hollow of his mind
the criss-crossed thoughts
the jaded ideas
anything...
cause
a writer must write!
even when its looks
impossible to write
A writer must write!

Is recession over???

2008-11-12T03:32:00.000-08:00

This is my question. You wanna know why?

The Mumbai-London flights of BA, IA, VA and all other airlines in which the business class cost four times the economy class fare is running full.... no tickets avaialble.

I got a call from a head-hunter wanting to learn if i wanted to move...

Are you wondering... to London!

Well, then myself wondering the same!!!!

Blissfully asleep

2008-11-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

While the world is going crazy discussing the fall-outs of the economic slowdown and fears of job cuts, these two boys seem to be enjoying a blissful sleep on top of their rag-bags, below the abandoned railway plaform of Thane Railway station in Mumbai. Afterall, what is there to be lost? Seems to be their answer.

Thank god its recession

2008-11-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

Thank god its recession...

I can now use this as an excuse to swwep clean of all the mess I created as offshoot of my poor leadership. And look, I don't even need to pay for it.

I love recessions... they just let us do so much more!!!!

(In tribute to all those who are being asked to look for alternate options in these testing times.)

Closed again

2008-11-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

There was no public transport to commute to local station, again this morning.

Some sort of strike or disruption kept everyone away... once again, an instance being repeated very frequently.

Are we becoming a nation of persistent disruptions to public life?

We surely got to do more than just think and comment on this one.

Boom vs Recession

2008-11-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

How does one differentiate a boom from a recession. Here's one way...

In the boom time it is the people who desert their employers for better prospects, whereas in the recession times it is the employer who deserts its people for the same.

And you thought it was some sort of cat and mouse game!!!! Well... if that be, then well thought. Its surely something close similar.

Job Cuts

2008-11-04T03:15:00.000-08:00

The Prime Minister has asked the industry captains to refrain from cutting jobs.

But then, why should any management want to cut jobs.... when they have the option of very softly asking people to simply leave.

That's how its done Mr. Prime Minister Sir.

Regionalism vs Nationalism

2008-10-30T23:21:00.000-07:00

India is burning.

It is strange that what is seen by the world as a potential superpower is today struggling. Terrorism and hooliganism are having a free days in what has come out as a total failure of the law enforcement machinery.

It seems the politics of regionalism has become far more important than any approach administering a nationalistic vision.

Who wins in all this? May be a handful self-centred opportunists.
And who loses? The Nation and its law-abiding citizen.

How do we stop ourselves from losing? Let's think and implement.

China vs India

2008-10-30T03:24:00.000-07:00

Mckinsey Quarterly, the leading business journal had some years ago run a feature providing comparative analysis between the competitive advantages enjoyed by the two emerging asian giants.

In 2008, till date, the journal has run at least a story every month on or directly related to China and just one on India.

Speed vs Direction

2008-10-29T22:39:00.000-07:00

What is more important - Speed or Direction?

Both. Now, that's the answer I am least expected to provide, having raised the question.

This actualy is a very tricky question, just like the chicken or the egg one.

Where do you reach with no speed but right direction and same with no direction but lot of speed. Nowhere?

Incidently there could be another aspect, which is portrated through the famous hare and tortoise story. Both the competitors have the fixed direction, but varying speed. Still, the hare loses. Why?

Because the tortoise is consistent, while hare's not!

So, does that mean it's neither the speed nor the direction, instead consistency, which is the most important. For the moment it looks like, Yes.

But then there's the story of Columbus. He sets off in a direction he percives to be correct and instead ends up discovering something no one had ever imagined. What stands out of that journey? Persistence. Perhaps!

No easy answers.

There's also that story of the corporate czar and the swami. A corporate czar who didn't sell his ferrari, but went with a swami to spend some time with him in his ashram. But that story a little later...

Let's legalize hooliganism!

2008-10-22T03:59:00.000-07:00

Burning Trains, Damaging Public Property, Creating Ruckus, Disrupting Public Life - it's now happening so often and at so many places, its high time we should think legalising hooliganism.

Afterall this is a democratic country and its policies and laws should be respectful of the sentiments of the people.

Imagine... how good would it be if the hooliginasm is made legal! The cops would be saved all the labour and the subsequent brick-bats they usually get for all failures, in manging susch situations.

Managing public administration in a politically charged environment is in anyway becoming impossible. So, what's the harm in letting people have a free day at their will.

Yes, as for the so called common man, again, why worry about the frail fellow? He in any case by now would be well used to of getting thrashed at so many places already that he should not mind a new addition to the list.

A dozen poets

2008-10-20T04:28:00.000-07:00

‘There’s no market for poetry anymore.’ A publisher had told me once.

Last weekend, I met this vibrant group, all of them poets; mostly young; in their mid or late twenties and some middle-aged as well.

These people were not just brilliant and intelligent and masters of their craft, but also stood unfazed of any trends the ‘industry’ might have set for itself.

Cause, they found a market for themselves.

They simply read to each other.

‘What an Idea, sir ji!’

Google Groups - India

2008-10-15T22:37:00.000-07:00

In an effort to generate traffic on my blog, I decided to try being part of some online groups.
I type 'India' as my search string... and see what I got at the top...

======================
Sorted by relevance Sort by date
Groups matching india
India Sex
To spread Indian Sex Techniques around the world. Land of kamasutra, ...
6128 members - Last message: 4 minutes ago
Lovers India
Are u in Love? Or Looking for Love? Right place for Lovers. There are ...
6895 members - Last message: 15 minutes ago
12688 more »
==========================

Down... Down... In

2008-10-15T04:39:00.000-07:00

Everything looks down at the moment. The global economy is in the bad shape. Companies are shedding jobs. They say credit is getting scarce. The stock markets are at their lowest.

Is this a good time to invest and get IN?

I don't know!

The idea killers

2008-10-09T22:04:00.000-07:00

What kills an idea?

1. Poor planning
2. Faulty execution

And much over and above these two:

--> Misaligned communication

Depression

2008-09-30T22:53:00.000-07:00

Depression - Financial (In US);
Depression - Political, Social & Administrative (In India).

It is quite an irony that in a country of 100 million people, where so many people want to bring in positive changes, negativity is ruling the roost.

Its sad,
Its threatening and
Its depressing.

Being powerless in one's own country... what worse could happen to one.

So much happening!

2008-09-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

Don't you feel there's been more action happening around than we could possible handle!
Look at the list - Lehman Brother filing bankrupcy; US saving its dollar-boys the socialist way; Threats looming for a global recession; Terrorists having open free days threatening the very fabric of India; Floods in Bihar, Orissa and Maharashtra; thousands devastated; and despite the crisis people finding time to burn places of worship in the name of saving nationality; a cop laying down his life for a cause; the big experiment 600 feet below the ground making media go ga-ga and Singh is King from Bollywood.
Too much action... conflicting objectives and uncertain outcomes... not sure what to make out of it all.
Oh! that very old dilemma... pity me... I the common man... the mute spectator!

I don't have the courage!

2008-08-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

When we met last, a few days ago, we got into a conversation... on the state of political leadership in our country.
Everything was moving like a perfect drawing-room discussion, until he made this confession...
'I would want to come forward and be a good leader to change this country, but then... I simply don't have the courage! I don't have the courage to put at stake everything. If it doesn't workout, what would then happen to me and my family?'
Well said Amit! You at least had the courage to admit with honesty what many of us would shy away to do.
But don't you think, there has to be at least some way?
How about discussing on that when we meet next!

Olympics, Doordarshan & Jasdev Singh

2008-08-17T02:44:00.000-07:00

In those good old days, the pre-satellite television era, I recall not missing a single Olympics or for that matter an Asiad or the fancied FIFA world cup or even events like the republic day parade of the 26th January. It was all thanks to Doordarshan (DD), the only aired television channel in India, exerting its monopoly of choice alongside the affable Jasdev Singh as the background commentator for all seasons.

Well, those were the days! The transmission was clear, all schedules used to be well advertised and viewing was a charm.

Now we are in the age of 'direct to home' digital-technology using satellite transmission pumping in 180 channels round the clock. Interestingly, DD still control the sole rights to air such events in the country. Thanks to the policies of keeping competition away. However now, the satellite would successfully transmit the other 179 channels seamlessly, but our poor old DD now fails to make to the television sets.
Poor quality pictures with interrupted transmission, stale presentation is all I have got to see from Beijing till now... by the way... has anyone seen any schedule of events in any newspaper? God knows, if it is the effect of the technology or of time!

For those sitting there in the Prasar Bharati or the Ministry of Information Broadcasting... Guys, your DD thing isn't working anymore... its high time we change and move on! As a viewer I demand choice.

Non-NEWS-able items

2008-07-28T02:02:00.000-07:00

Five items that shall cease to be NEWS worthy in a short span of time in India; here’s my list.

Political Integrity
Disruptions in Public life due to political agitations
Bomb-blasts
Administrative failures in handling citizen centric issues
Black-money

Any views on what could be most NEWSable?

Once again, my choice…

Bollywood
Astrology (including Metaphysical influences)
People in/near Power
Reality/Chat Shows on TV
Advertisements

Who stays happier?

2008-07-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

Who stays happier – The guy who believes in fire-fighting or the one who focuses on fire prevention?
We are always made to believe that fire-prevention superior to fire-fighting. However, I am now forced to change my opinion. I feel that no matter what could be written in the books theoretically, in real life, it’s much smarter and practicable to restrict oneself to fire-fighting.
Say, water problem in the area… dig a bore-well. Petrol price climbs up… switch over to CNG. Frequent electricity failure… install back-up and so on.
It has been my observation that people who do not think too far or too much, usually find some quick-shot solution to all their issues and in turn remain happy and contended.
In contrast, the long-haulers in general spend their life trying to save the planet and worrying about the issues they in no way can possibly influence.

The biggest virtue

2008-07-02T03:51:00.000-07:00

What is the biggest of all virtues?

My choice - When not being required to do anything. Working by choice.

What say you?

Interpretations

2008-06-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Luck:

the force that seems to operate for good or ill in a person's life, as in shaping circumstances, events, or opportunities
a combination of circumstances, events, etc., operating by chance to bring good or ill to a person

Destiny:

something that is to happen or has happened to a particular person or thing; lot or fortune.
the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events.
the power or agency that determines the course of events.

The above are the dictionary definitions of these two words. The ambiguity of the definitions leaves the field wide open for as many interpretations, and this is what actually happens. Everyone having their own interpretaion depending on their respective circumstances... mostly momentary circumstances, both good as well as bad.

The question is - how many of us try to rise above that 'momentary' thought and try see the bigger picture!!! Do we even recognize that there exists a bigger picture?

Perhaps... another topic wide open for as many interpretations!!!

What is this photograph?

2008-06-18T22:52:00.001-07:00

Last evening, while I was returning home in the over-crowded, poorly lit, hot with humidity, city bus in Mumbai, I encountered this gentlemen, whose face I didn't get to see, but who appeared to be in his mid-forties reading a text-book learning English. Exclamatory Sentences - was the title of the chapter, when I clicked this snap from my mobile phone.

I feel it's this zeal for life and advancement of ordinary people like these, which keeps this city ticking. What say you!

Identity Crisis

2008-06-17T01:52:00.000-07:00

In India, we have a host of documents to spell our identity and yet we struggle to establish our identity, especially so when having to interact with a government or regulatory institution For some reason unknown to them as well they sit on the premise that we don't exist. In fact, for many of them, no one exists unless she/he proves otherwise.
I was renewing my life-insurance policy when the agent pointed out at a discrepency in my PAN Card (Permanent Account Number issued by The Income Tax Department). A 'v' in my name had been spelled as 'y'!
I have been using this card and the number for last 10 years. I never noticed the error. The font used made it look almost perfect. Now this discovery came as a big jolt. I don't know what to do??? I am not sure if I become eligible for getting it corrected or not. Somebody's typographical error has become the bane of my neck.
Anyhow, on this ground, my PAN card was rejecetd to be as the valid proof of identity and I was asked to produce an alternate proof. I gave in the Election ID Card. Thank God! On this occassion the agent didn't match my father's name's spelling and so I got my policy!!!!
In many countries, such could be simple error-correction cases. But not so in our land. I am not sure if I am jinxed for such mishappenings, but I had suffered the similar fate with my driving license in the past.
I had BROKEN my license... yes broken... the plastic card issued by the department broke into two pieces after regular carrying in the pocket for 10 years. Since the license had at that time stood valid for another eight years, I requested for issuance of a new card.
To my surprise, I discovered that no such process existed in the department. On the contrary, having come to learn of my case, I was deemed without holding a valid license. The only way for me to get it back was to apply for a new one, this is what I was told at every level, to which the issue was escalated.
With no other option available, I applied for a new one. Went through the complete drill. One month later when the license arrived, I noticed that the two 'E's' in my spelling had been replaced by an 'I'.
The clerk at the RTO whom I had befriended during my regular visits advised me to carry on with the same. The other option for me was, ofcourse, to apply for a fresh one!
Any gusses... on what had been my choice!!!!!

Amitabh Bachaan blogs

2008-06-10T21:24:00.000-07:00

It has been in the news all around. Amitabh Bachaan the superstar of the millenium too blogs and he says he writes his own blogs.
Amitabh Bachaan writes and so the whole world reads. Is that the way forward. Has the 'who' become more important than the 'what'?
If we measure in reference to the commercial success, the answer surely is yes! And this law is universal across the board.
It's just like an average product made by a big company finds a greater success in the market compared to an excellent one by an unknown entity. The muscle to market of the former transforms the dimensions. It is all about how quickly and how loudly can you make yourself heard.

If that be so... the question comes... what's the point being a nobody and still writing a blog!

The answer is... even Amitabh Bachaan, who now is what he is, was once upon a time, may be for a relatively shorter span of time, but surely, was as a nobody!

What to do?

2008-05-22T03:21:00.000-07:00

It remindes me of the play I had watched long time back. The name was - 'Waiting for Godot'! Two men waiting for one elusive Mr. Godot, who shall never come.
We all are waiting for some Godot and sometimes Mr. Godot do come, but on most of the others we simply wait. So what to do while we wait for the Godot to come!
That's one question not easy to answer. Should we go and find something or would we chance upon a man, his horse and his companion to spend our time, like it was in the play.
Mostly, we chance upon the the man, his horse and the companion... and that's how the life keeps moving... waiting for Godot! A Godot who no one knows would whether come or not... still we keep waiting.
Let's ask the question - why wait!
And if not to wait... then what to do?
May be ... ... ... work on some gift for Godot.
But if Godot actually doesn't come?
Even then ... cherish the process of developing the gift and who says Godot never comes... eventually, he does! So why wait!

Feeders & Readers

2008-04-22T04:33:00.000-07:00

Does anyone read this blog? Would anyone ever read this blog?
How many blogs have i read till now?
I think.... 1... may be 2 (my brother's about 2 years back!)
So how many people would be reading my blog?
I am sure not a million!
So why do i care what i write here. Let me write all the balb... the dirtiest of all things and thoughts and be happy about publishing it. #@*##$%6***&#@#%^(*^*(&^$##$#%%$#@@# - what ever that might mean is now part of this blog and represents the flifthiest trash one could ever imagine in one's life time.
Yes, i have written it and with the click of a button am going to publish it for the world to see.
But then.... who would see????

So, on a platform where there are more feeders and only self-readers, what does it matter what you feed.

May be... it matters. Because, it reflects. It reflects on one's own self and on most of the times that's quite sufficient, if not more.

Write to write

2008-04-18T02:49:00.000-07:00

Write to write, even when you have no clue what to write. Writing makes the thoughts aligned, is what people say. I am not too sure about that, since good writing only comes once thoughts have been cleansed.
Otherwise one could keep writing any blab, like i am doing at the moment. Incidentally, it's far better than sitting out and wandering into bare thoughts. Writing in this mode is like jogging. One jogs, and as one jogs one cleanses oneself of the lethargy and excessive fat hiding under the veins and at the end of it all, makes one feel relieved and happy.
Sometimes writing is also like that! May be that's what, those who say writing is rejuvenating, probably mean.

Big Company vs. Small Company

2008-01-23T00:24:00.000-08:00

What’s the difference, working in a big company versus working in a small company? People, especially new entrants to the corporate world would often ask this question. Experienced professionals, disillusioned in their current roles, too often see the grass to be greener on the other side of the fence. This write-up presents some facts from both kind of working environments. This is an eight point comparative between the two.

1. Exposure – The first comparison between the two environments relates to the exposure one gets working in either set-up. In a big company where there is usually strict departmentalization and there are typically a large number of people in every department, most of the people’ exposure is restricted to their specified job roles only. In contrast in a small company a single department might be looking after many more responsibilities and accordingly people might get to avail a far more cross-functional exposure.

2. Specialization – The roles, job positions in large companies are mostly specialized. Small organisations usually have a more generalized kind of profile definitions, especially within higher management. The company secretary might be doubling in as the HR & admin head as well. The sales head could be found managing logistics and so on.

3. Scale & Scope – Working in big companies one gets to see the scale of operations. In smaller companies one is exposed to the scope of operations. In a big company one is always dealing in big numbers, large volumes, etc. In a small company one usually deals with multiple numbers, varied volumes etc.

4. System Driven – The bigger the company the larger are chances that it would be a system driven organisation. Systems would run the business; individuals come secondary. Things get done by groups and teams. Smaller companies are usually individual driven. Absence or presence of a key individual could make a huge difference to the outcome of a laid process. The processes might be well laid, but they might still depend on the skills or judgement of certain key individuals.

5. Accessibility – Accessibility to the top management is something which is a distant dream in a large organisation. At some places it is often an immense assignment approaching one level above than your immediate reporting boss; leave aside the head of the department or the top executive. These people in any case one might get to see on discrete occasions only. In comparison, the CEO of a small company might just be working out of the cabin across your work station. You could routinely be invited to the business critical meetings, where important decisions get taken.

6. Processes – Processes in large organisations are largely streamlined. Processes in small organisations are usually more dynamic. The guidelines might be laid, but actual implementation might vary from case to case. Besides large companies are more likely to use advanced tools for executing their processes rather than small companies, which might be ad-hoc in their approach, with respect to this and thus retaining their flexibility to adopt as per the environmental requirements.

7. Feeling lost – In large companies often people complaint of feeling lost in the big crowd. Whereas in small companies people complaint of being monitored far too closely. Please note, no matter where they remain, most people end up complaining only.

8. Organisation – Large organisations are commonly organisations within organisations. You would find groups of people behaving in a particular fashion. Certain departments would be more efficient than the others. Some works would get done much faster than the others. In contrast, small organisations are generally a pack of diverse individuals existing in a small space. Performance of a few individuals might reflect broadly on the overall performance of the company. The environment is always vibrant.

So, which of the two is better? This is the obvious next question. Well, how about having taste of both and thereafter drawing your own conclusion. May be start with a big company. Spend some time learning the way big companies operate. Thereafter move sometime to a smaller company, and to a senior position, where you might actually have the opportunity to get heard.
What?... What did you just ask?....
… autonomy for decision making!
Where’s that better?
Well, if that’s your question, all I would say is that that one’s a really good question… ha… ha… ha.

A mediocre’s guide to corporate success

2008-01-23T00:13:00.000-08:00

Success in the corporate world is for a select few. Now what if, you don’t fall in that list of elite? What if, you are not the fastest, or the best, or the cleverest? What if, you never held an honour of distinction, a golden moment of professional recognition? What if, you don’t come from one of those highly fancied schools or didn’t go to some distinguished university overseas? What if, you have been rated over and again a mediocre all your life and know it far too well for yourself and… what if, despite knowing it all you still fancy the ambition of being at the top? And finally, what if, you don’t know, how! If that be the case, this is the write-up for you. Even otherwise, no harm catching up with some practical tips!
This article presents a set of 10 time-tested rules that can help you realise your dream. Most of these you would find live in practice at your workplace, delivering effective results; it’s just that no one ever compiled them to tell it to you like this before.
At this point, my sincere apologies to the Gurus, who make a big killing preaching high of excellence and best practices and 360 degree reviews; gentlemen and sirs, it’s about time the truth is accepted. Leaders please stay back and laggards please lead to claim the place that was never yours, but which now could be yours. Just follow these 10 rules and watch yourself climb up the corporate ladder. Success guaranteed.

Rule No.1: Never take a decision
Believe me! There would always be someone to take it for you. I repeat -
THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE SOMEONE TO TAKE IT FOR YOU.
Never take a decision.
Are you wondering, how is it possible? Are you wondering, what if, you happen to be one of the key persons and taking decisions is inevitable to your role?
Well, if that be your point of reservation, then let me assure, this is only the first tool; there are still nine more to follow and they shall provide suitably for your sense of protection. In the end, you would have enough in your armoury to save yourself the day and the deal. So, have faith and keep reading, for the moment just remember that there would always be someone to take a decision for you.
The advantages of this strategy are many. The lesser you decide upon, the lesser controversies you are likely to be into. Life in corporate world prospers on performance reviews that happen mostly once a year. In those crucial moments you are going to get no more than a few minutes of your superior’s share of mental attention, in which he/she shall decide your fate.
Further, there would be some bell curve or incentive pyramid, which would have been put in place by the top management and which would set the driving directions to accommodate all. Your credibility in this environment rides not on how many initiatives you took but on how few mistakes you committed. Competition for the top slot is usually fierce and hence at no cost you must dilute chances. ‘Prevention is better than cure’ - recall these age old words of wisdom and cruse on.

Rule No.2: Never commit, stay ambiguous
Never ever make a commitment.
That doesn’t mean you say a straight forward ‘no’ to everything. Never do that either, for it would give you a bad name of that of a chronic non-doer. You surely don’t want to be called that!
In reality, terms like ‘yes’ and ‘no’ become too transparent and lead to several manifested debates afterwards. One should prefer dealing in ‘may bes’, ‘let’s sees’, ‘very likelys’, ‘hope sos’, ‘wish fors’ etc. These expressions are far safer.
Say yes in a way that you might mean no and say no in a way that you might mean yes. Keep your listeners guessing! To be precise, stay ambiguous.
More than a skill, this tool is an art! Practice it hard, or else you might never master it. A practical way of making a beginning on this rule is to always ensure that there is somewhere, where you can pass the buck. As long as you don’t allow it to stop on you, you would find one way or the other to stay ambiguous.

Rule No.3: Confuse the issue
I had a boss, with whom I once went for an audit. The auditor asked a tricky question, to which we had no answer. The boss stayed cool and started answering. He brought in a host of unrelated issues into his speech, made them look highly relevant and although I had no idea how they related to the question, but the boss said it all with such conviction that the auditor had no more questions to ask on the subject. His appetite was lost. Was he satisfied or confused, even he himself didn’t look sure.
Watch for people around you and you would surely find a few, who are exceptional at confusing the issues and in the end walking out scratch free.
I know some well known politicians, who display this craft very well on a regular basis with their statements in the media. Unfortunately, I can’t name any of them over here. So help yourself… use your imagination, think, visualize, observe, learn, practice and perfect.

Rule No.4: Speak passive, especially if accepting mistakes
I am reading a book on effective writing by a famous teacher of writing skills. The writer propagates to always apologize in active voice, while writing or in life.
If you want to be a corporate success, I suggest, never read any such book or at least skip the relevant chapter. Your preferred line of attack should be:
‘We agree a few deviations did occur from the established procedures. The same have been analyzed and affirmative actions ensured. A recurrence is not foreseen in the future. Any inconvenience caused, deeply regretted.’
Shoot all those hypocrites, who tell you to accept your mistakes and take onus. The golden rule unwritten in golden letters - A corporate hot-shot doesn’t ever commit a mistake. If goof-ups happen, they happen for reasons uncontrolled or someone else has to be blamed for it. It could be the vendors or the colleagues or the subordinates or anyone, doesn’t matter, as long as it’s not YOU.
A word of caution at this point: beware, your boss and your colleagues would simultaneously be on a lookout for passing the buck over to you for their goof-ups. So always keep your cushion. Be alert and be on guard.

Rule No.5: Always speak big & speak great
No matter how bad things go, always speak big and nice about everything. Spread positive vibes. Even if criticizing something or someone, do it in passive voice (Rule no. 4). Never use direct attack like – ‘you messed up!’
Instead say – ‘I feel we still have those consistency issues. Somewhere we would need to take a call on that.’ – remember you are being ambiguous, talking positive, confusing the opponent and still making the point, without making any decisive statement.
There can almost be countless number ways to describing any situation. Thus, there can be consistency issues, networking issues, logistical issues, relationship issues, congestion issues, capability issues, continuity issues and so on.
Another critical key to success is to develop rich vocabulary of such high sounding corporate terminologies and using them spontaneously.
Corporate champions are team players. They never look at the negatives, instead consolidate on the strengths. They take everyone along; for them, winning is always a team effort and so they speak and stay positive... always.

Rule No.6: Maintain poise
No one likes howling, fighting, shouting people.
People gifted at birth with high vocal cord strength… get your pitch corrected, naturally or otherwise.
Speak softly. Speak politely. Speak in control. Speak at a volume that’s just audible. Simultaneously, dress well, smell good and always wear a soft charm over your face, like the one displayed by polished actors on screen.
When a crisis strikes, you must show it to the world that although you feel concerned, and choose to stay involved and willing, but you are not disturbed. Because you believe challenges are part of the game and it’s your style to take it all in your stride. You are not afraid of anything.
Doesn’t matter, what you might feel actually deep inside your head. It’s OK, as long as no one else comes to know of it. Besides no problem is as grave as might appear at the first go! Remember rule no. 2. If you make sure the ball rolls past you, all you would need to worry about would be maintaining that seasoned performer’s charm on your face and in body language.

Rule No.7: Never argue with the boss
An old rule and a powerful rule! Argue with him/her once and lose on your rating forever, if not the job.
A recent study by a leading consultancy organisation discovered that 95% of the reasons why people felt happy or sad in their jobs had to do with their immediate supervisor. Don’t expect the boss oblige you, because that’s your job.
The person, no matter how dumb, how insensitive, how irrational or whatever else he/she might be still remains your boss, the person who signs your annual increments. Thus for the sake of your promotion please pretend to respect the four lettered word… boss!

Rule No.8: Follow the boss
If the boss has interest in golf, you should know enough about the game to have a conversation, but never appear to know more than what the boss might know. And if by chance you happen to play golf too, make sure you lose to the boss… tight-finishes could be interesting, provided in the end… you lose.
For those who don’t have the appetite for losing never let the boss know that you can play the game. At the same time make sure you don’t keep away from serving drinks and refreshments. After all somewhere you do need to compensate for your lack of adjustability and for god’s sake don’t start a cricket club, while the boss wants to measure the eighteen holed field.

Rule No.9: Don’t percolate that union-leader’s mindset
Many people have this habit of taking on to themselves the crusades of all and sundry. They chase issues of mass-benefit, especially when it comes to HR or administration related domains. From menial issues like starting a bus for daily commuting or improving the quality of lunch to even bigger issues like corporate policy on employee benefit or employee retention or employee compensation or employee rewards.
The rule here is – If you want something for yourself, workout a solution in isolation and get it done quietly. Anything… beg, borrow, steal… is preferable to instigating some kind of mass-movement.
No one wants trouble makers. No one likes people who bell the cat. People prefer people who propagate harmony, are positive to every situation, show respect and are usually seen happy under every circumstances and so be one.

Rule No.10: What if… - The ultimate rule
What if, even after doing all the above, the boss is not doing anything for you and is still giving you a hard time. Take the ultimate step.
CHANGE THE BOSS!
Don’t work for anyone who doesn’t push your case. Work with a boss, who takes you along as he/she moves on. No one’s here for a charity. Everyone’s on a race. Catch the right people and catch them fast.
Your first 9 skills would be good enough to have you build a good network… within and as well outside the organisation. I take for granted that you understand perfectly that the best jobs and assignments seldom feature in newspaper advertisements. They come out of relationships.

Finally, a small word of advice: As you move up in your career make sure you build under yourself a strong trail of subordinates, all of whom you would have trained well in the first 9 rules. After all, some day you too would want to win the game of golf.